Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Hope doesn't mean you get what you want.

Last night I had the most wonderful dream. It was so vivid, as real to me as if I was actually experiencing it. Someone, I don't remember how I knew this person, gave their baby to me for a day. He was so sweet, I smelled his little head, stroked his cheek, tickled his toes, kissed him all over. I fed him a bottle and just cuddled him. And then he was gone and I was awake, and I felt like someone had taken my Max away all over again. It was awful. But, I still had the hope of a new pregnancy.

Until I temped. 97.92, which at 10 DPO is not a good sign. Oh, that and the cramps and backache that I then realized were what woke me up so early.

If my period comes today (which I could be wrong, but I have a feeling that it might), that means a 9 day luteal phase. Which is not anywhere near enough to sustain a pregnancy.

I think my body is flipping me off right now.

2 comments:

Crysi said...

Hugs! But also keep in mind, cramping can also be a sign of early pregnancy. I felt like I was starting my period for the first several weeks this time. I just kept waiting for it to start and nothing was happening and a million BFNs.

dauthi said...

I still get little twinges every time I see a baby. We were at basketball last week and there was this little baby and his parents sitting near me. I played peekaboo with him for a few minutes, then had to stop before I started crying.

It'll get better. It has to.