Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Financial update

A really quick update: we got 20% off of our future treatments that are not covered by insurance (so IVF and IUI). Praise God!!!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

No more Clomid headaches!

Sadly, it looks like the Clomid this month was too much for my body. I have one follicle that is ready to ovulate, but my lining is only 5 mm this time (as opposed to 7.5 mm last month, which was already thin). We are going to try estrogen still, but it is likely that I will ovulate on my own very soon and the lining probably won't thicken after I ovulate. The doctor said he has only seen a few pregnancies acheived with a lining that thin in his 40 or so years as an RE... So the good news is that I shouldn't be too disappointed at the end of this month, since I'm pretty sure I won't be pregnant. The other good news is that I won't have any more Clomid headaches, since I won't be taking Clomid any more! Woohoo!

Thanks for your prayers. We're most likely going to take a few months off to let my body rest and recuperate, so we probably won't have any updates for a while. Unless I actually start blogging again. :)

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Prayer request

I have a very specific prayer request for the next week: please pray that the Clomid does not block the estrogen receptors in my uterus.

(If you're interested in the medical facts: Clomid's job is to block the estrogen receptors in the brain, which it is doing, but it is also blocking them in my uterus, which prevents my endometrium (lining) from getting thick enough to support a pregnancy and also prevents me from having fertile quality cervical mucus. This is why we will have to switch from this medicine to a much more expensive, injectable medicine the next cycle we try.... so we'd rather this cycle work!)

I will be taking extra estrogen after I finish the Clomid to hopefully counteract this, but it may not help if the Clomid is blocking the receptors!

My praise is that I have not had a single headache from the Clomid this cycle!!! That is amazing. :) :) :)

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Infertile people have a lot to remember. Good thing we're not pregnant.

It's a good thing I'm not pregnant now, because there is just too much to keep track of. (I don't mean to complain; just thought I'd share a bit of my daily confusion and why I might be a bit off.)

What I am taking, when I am supposed to start and stop, how many per day, how I take them (orally, injected or, ahem, another method), what strength. And it all changes from month to month. For example, I took Clomid on days 5-9 for the last two months (100 mg the first month, 50 mg the second month), am taking it days 3-7 this month so that I can start Estrace earlier in an attempt to improve my cervical mucus quality (the doctor doubted it would help, though, since my Estrogen is already fairly high and Clomid is an estrogen blocker - greeeeat). And since the Prometrium from last month gave me joint pain, I'm switching to another form of Progesterone with a name I don't remember currently. Good thing I'm not taking it yet. Oh, and I have to remember to pick them up from the pharmacy in the first place!

When you are going to see the doctor at least once per week, on different days each week, it's hard to remember which day you are supposed to be scheduling your next appointment for. Last month I went for my second checkup on day 12, but this month it's day 9, which is.... what day, since my period started Monday? Who knows.

It's a good thing I pay my bills the instant they come through the door because if I didn't, they would never get paid. I can no longer keep track of how much I owe each different place (Shady Grove, Lab Corp, UMMC) and if I've paid them or not. It doesn't help that they don't bill right away; I just got a bill from November. It's March, people! How am I supposed to keep track of four months worth of bills? Do you know how many times I have been to the doctor's office since then? I don't even know!

Keeping a Record for Taxes
Trying to keep a record of all of my medical expenses for taxes is also a pain. How many times have I gone to the doctor's office in Baltimore so far this year? 8? 10? How many times have I gone to the doctor's office in Annapolis? How much was the parking this time? What about last time?

Friday, March 5, 2010

Update: not pregnant

It wasn't good news on my pregnancy test yesterday (negative); in fact, it was even worse news than we thought: the doctor says I am not responding to the Clomid as well as we thought initially and now we are going to need to try stronger treatments (that cost much more). Basically, we are working against a clock that no one can see and he doesn't know how much time we will have and wasting time on Clomid when it is not working that well is not a good idea in the world of infertility.

We're trying one more month of Clomid with some injectibles after the Clomid to try to encourage my body a little more. It would be great financially, emotionally, and in the hopes of having more than one pregnancy (and thus, more than one child) if we could get pregnant this next month. But we'll see. God has opened up the barren woman's womb before; maybe he wants to show his glory by me getting pregnant after the doctors have given up.

Please pray for our marriage especially, we're very stressed about all of this and I'm an emotional mess with my hormones being all over the place from the various medications. Also, the stillbirth of a baby at church has ripped open old wounds that were healing, so that is making things worse, my struggling with depression and grief. Jonathan is such a great guy; he can take my bad (and quickly changing) moods to a certain point, but anyone would break after being pushed too much. :(

Financially, we are going to apply to Shady Grove's Shared Help program, which means for procedures that our insurance doesn't cover, they will waive a certain percentage of fees (from 10 to 50% based on income). Please pray that they will be generous with us and give us the best percentage that they can. Also, please pray that we will find a good solution for the fertility drugs, because we have zero coverage for those and they can get expensive.

Also, this new news has given the devil a chance to put it into my mind that we are somehow working against God in all of this. I don't think that is the case, as we have been blessed in so many ways throughout this, financially in having coverage for so many more things than we should have had, medically, for getting us into Shady Grove Fertility with zero waiting time because my RE was joining their practice. In any case. I think I listen to the deceiver more than I should, so please pray that God will give me the strength to fight him.

I'll leave you with my favorite verses:

I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
Wait on the LORD; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!
-Psalm 27:13-14

Please pray that I can keep seeing the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. I am having a hard time waiting especially when I feel as if I am running out of time.