Monday, March 16, 2009

Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I have not been thinking recently, hey, this grief thing is getting easier, and then bursting into tears anytime I hear another story of a mom who's lost her baby. I do not pray for my fellow mothers with empty arms and I certainly do not hope that you all are receiving comfort from God as you walk through another day without your baby.

Saturday was not the three month anniversary of Max's exodus from my body. Thus, I obviously didn't realize later that the day had passed by without my even noticing it. Yesterday was not my 21 month anniversary, and, of course, I am not still counting our marital bliss in months. Not me!

I did not imagine a scenario this morning where I went to an 8 week appointment at which my baby had no heartbeat and I took this all in stride, comforting the doctor in her empathy for me. (Leaving aside the "Not me's!" for a second, I'm not pregnant again, I just have a very active imagination!)

I am not looking forward to being pregnant again and I do not have faith that God will bless me with another child someday.


Staci said...

Thinking of you and continuing to pray as you go through this grieving. I'm sure your Max is in heaven picking out the perfect brother or sister and he or she will be coming your way soon. God Bless you and Happy 21 month anniversary :) My husband and I had our 90 month (7 years 6 months) anniversary yesterday. I do not still count in months but since you did I thought i would be fun to figure it out!

Mochamama said...

Thank you for your comment and prayers... I'm so thankful for them. Praying for you also.