I think my body is beginning to forget that I was ever pregnant. My breasts are dwindling away to their former (very small) size, the bloating that made me feel pregnant even since week 4 has disappeared (I can zip and button my pants now, even while sitting down.), my ravenous hunger has completely eroded (I am back to my normal schedule of eating every 4-5 hours and not needing snacks.). Even the cramping that I've had over the past few days, reminding me that my body is expelling my child, has diminished. I feel like I am physically back to normal. Will I ever feel normal emotionally?
Why do people think that another baby will replace this one? I think someone has even said to me, "Maybe it'll be twins next time!" How does that help? Why would two babies make up for losing one? It just won't. When June rolls around, I will not feel better about losing the baby that would have been born then, even if I have another baby to expect. I think people just don't want to deal with my grief.
I'm afraid to be pregnant again. How do I know that the next pregnancy won't end the exact same way? Doctors don't do anything after your first miscarriage to make sure you won't have a second. Sometimes they won't even do anything until after your third miscarriage! How could they force parents to go through this three times? I can't imagine that kind of pain, and still wanting to try after having so many losses.
This is what our baby should have looked like last week: http://mandiefrazier.blogspot.com/2008/03/oh-boy-maybe.html
Why is he gone? I want my baby back. I should have been given pictures last week, not pills.