I've been struggling a lot recently with my purpose. I've always known that I was going to be a mommy when I grew up - that has always been my dream (although there was a time period where I wanted to also be an astronaut). Currently, I am working to support my husband and myself while he is finishing his Master's degree, which occupies most of my time. The problem with my job (although I love what I do) is that I have barely enough work to keep me busy for two hours a day. That means the other six hours I sit and stare at my computer monitor - thus the blogging during work, reading tons and tons of blogs, always being up on the latest news, etc. I have asked for more work, but there's really not anything to give me, and when they do give me projects, they never last for more then an hour or two.
So, when I get home from work, I've usually already been bored for most of the day, sitting at a computer, spacing out. I cook dinner, clean up after dinner, and then.... nothing. My husband has his homework or thesis to work on, and I really don't have anything to do. I do enjoy reading, I like video games, I'll watch TV, but there are nights (like last night) where I just want to sleep my boredom away (which my husband does NOT let me do). I mean, don't get me wrong, it's nice to have time to relax, but all of the things I do at night are completely pointless. I feel like I'm wandering around in circles, with no meaning.
My husband told me that I need to find myself something that gives me purpose, and well, duh, I want to do that, but I just don't know what to do. Everything that I can do to pass the time is just that... passing the time. Isn't that a waste of life? I feel like my current life is just me ticking down the days until I can start my "new life" as a mom.
And in four months I am going to be JOB FREE in a new place with no friends, no car during the work hours and no public transportation, which means sitting at home all. day. long. What in the world am I going to do then?!? (I mean, unpacking can only take so long, and decorating your apartment costs money. :-P)
I don't mean for you all to try to come up with things for me to do. I guess I just want to know if other people have dealt with this before.