Saturday, May 16, 2009

9w, 3d: Such a hard wait

I haven't had much spotting since yesterday afternoon and have had no cramping whatsoever. I am in bed and staying put, at least for today, with my sweet husband running around and getting me everything I need. :) I haven't figured out about our last Sunday School class tomorrow... I don't think running around after 3 year olds is a good idea, but I really want to see them one last time! Plus, there's the walking there and back, about 20 minutes each way. I just don't think it's a good idea, but I don't see much of a way around it that doesn't cost mucho dollars (like a taxi or Zipcar). So we'll have to see...

From my limited knowledge, I just don't see how this could be a miscarriage, since we saw a live baby on Thursday afternoon and less than 24 hours later I'm bleeding? Can a baby die and then a body already begin rejecting it that quickly? It just doesn't make sense to me. Unless the baby didn't die and my body is rejecting it for some other reason...

This is probably TMI, but we haven't had sex since Tuesday, my pap smear was three weeks ago, and they didn't use a vaginal probe for the ultrasound... I did walk back home from the ultrasound, about 20 minutes. Could that have set it off?

Anyhow, thank you girls for praying... I really appreciate it. I'm not feeling so scared right now and I really feel like we're going to see a live baby on Monday. But I agree with Staci, Thumper, you have got to stop scaring me like this!

Update at 4:45 pm:
I've had some red spotting today, but no cramps yet. It's weird, it feels like I'm bleeding heavier than I am... I keep thinking, oh, that must have been it, but not much has come out. I'm staying in bed today and tomorrow for sure and I'll take Monday off, too, with just the appointment that will get me up. And I guess we'll see Monday what the doctor says.

I'm not sure why I'm so calm right now, but probably because you are all praying for me. Six weeks ago when I first had spotting and I was on the way to the doctor's office, God told me "Olivia Faith," and at first I just thought that that would be the name that I would give the baby if it died (I have a different name in mind for our first living daughter), but since then I have realized that one meaning of Olivia is "peace" and perhaps he was telling me to be at peace and have faith. It's strange to me that I am so at peace right now, but maybe it shouldn't be. The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.


Lydia said...

Still praying <3

Shaina N said...

I'm praying for you sweetie.

I've had 2 instances of light spotting with this pregnancy. Could you have a yeast infection? That's what caused mine BOTH times.

Love you girl! Praying hard!

Wendy said...

Praying for you. Stay put. the three year olds will be around another Sunday. If I lived closer, I'd give you a ride!
DC is a little too far!
Love and Peace

Brooke said...

It sounds like you are more optomistic today. I just think that with everything I have heard and read that a little brown isnt anything to worry too much about. One of my good friends had red blood spotting through both of her pregnancys in the first trimester. I would continue to take it easy if it gives you the peace of mind you need and I agree you should take some time off from sunday school. We are both going to get some good news from the doc on monday! Whoohoo ultrasound monday is just around the corner!