I finally took The Big Plunge and made an appointment to finish my recurrent pregnancy loss (RPL) testing before trying to get pregnant a third time. I'll be seeing a high-risk pregnancy doctor in Baltimore, who will finish the testing that I wasn't able to have done in Boston before we moved. She will also be able and hopefully more willing to monitor my next pregnancy more cautiously than an regular Ob/Gyn. My appointment isn't until September 21 (not too bad for a brand new patient), so we will have to be careful to not get me pregnant next cycle! Less than five weeks to go...
I decided to get testing before a third pregnancy because of an online talk I heard from a RPL specialist at Shady Grove Fertility Clinic. He basically said that although doctors used to make patients wait for three miscarriages, it's hard for them to tell patients that they need to wait for a third dead baby to have testing done, especially with the low difference in chances of miscarrying after a second and third loss. A lot of patients with unexplained RPL have successful pregnancies with TLC and a few harmless, possibly helpful treatments (like baby aspirin to help prevent clotting and progesterone in case of low progesterone, even though they don't know if this actually prevents miscarriage or not). After listening to his talk, I felt a little less crazy for wanting testing done now.
It's hard to not know anyone in real life who has had two losses before any successful pregnancies. Sometimes I feel like everyone around me is thinking that I must be a hypochondriac, that I'm just making this up. Or that because I am pessimistic in general that I am blowing this up to be a bigger deal than it is. It's hard, too, because I'm not a part of the infertility sisterhood. I felt like I couldn't make an appointment at Shady Grove Fertility Clinic because I could be taking the spot of someone who can't get pregnant on her own, and that wouldn't be fair. I can get pregnant on my own, rather easily, I just don't keep the babies.
I was thinking about skipping trying to get pregnant next month, anyway. I can only imagine the terror I would have had to have another baby due in June, to have another loss in December. Although part of me thinks, hey, why shouldn't I let the bad dates pile up in December; then I will just have a really, really rough month instead of spreading out the loss throughout the year. (I found out on December 9 last year that Max had died; I miscarried him on December 14; Olivia was due on December 7 or 16, depending on whether you trust the U/S date or my dating.)
What would you have done?