If infertility were the lottery, I would be a millionaire.

Let's begin at the beginning. Yesterday was a followup appointment to the second FSH/estradiol/LH reading I had done on Monday. My FSH was actually okay (7.5), but my estradiol was really high at 121 and it artificially lowers the FSH value, so basically you can take that to mean the same thing (my FSH was probably high). So, we're continuing on with the clomiphene citrate challenge test. That was supposed to be the end of the appointment.

But it wasn't. When I had my progesterone tested a few weeks ago (which was fine, thanks for asking), they also ran a few test for some really rare blood clotting disorders that hadn't been tested for yet. I believe the words of my doctor were, you will not have one of these disorders, but just to cover all of our bases, we'll run these tests. He ate those words! I DO have one of those really rare blood clotting disorders, the Methylenetetrahydrofolate reductase (MTHFR) mutation. But wait - there's more! There are two types of mutations for the MTHFR gene and I have.... BOTH! (I only have one copy of each, though. I might have given him a heart attack otherwise.) This RE has never seen that in a patient before. Goooooooooooooooo me!

Lucky for me, this means that if I ever get pregnant I get to inject myself twice a day with Heparin or once a day with Lovenox (blood thinners) every day of a pregnancy. I also may get to take extra Folic acid for the rest of my life, since folic acid works along with the MTHFR enzyme to break down homocysteine (an amino acid). My RE was not super familiar with this problem, so I'm headed back to... my original doctor! Dr. Atkins, the lovely woman who passed me on to Dr. Blanchard for my septum, who passed me on to Dr. McClamrock for my other problems. I bet she'll be super excited to have me back!

Okay, so to summarize the various ways that I should never be a mother, I not only am going to have trouble getting pregnant (good thing we're starting early!) with any baby, much less a baby that has good genes, but once I get pregnant, my babies are very likely to be miscarried or born too early because of both a septate uterus and a blood clotting disorder.

If infertility were the lottery, I would be a millionaire. Since it isn't the lottery and I am not a millionaire, I can't afford to pay for it. Which means that these doctors are going to have to be very surprised when God takes control and helps me deliver a living baby.

Thank you, Lord, for helping the doctors find these problems, and thank you for the children that I should never have, but will have because you care about me and my husband and our desires! I can't wait to see them and tell them their story...

December blog look

Yes, I've finally decided to change things up around here... I know you all were very confused about how long August was lasting.

Yet another problem... sheesh.

Okay, the update that everyone has been waiting for. Sorry, this has been a hard week, with Olivia's due date and the anniversary of the worst day of my life (Max's 12 week ultrasound, where we found out there was no baby), and I have been thinking and not wanting to write much.

Last Wednesday was my first appointment with an RE, Dr. McClamrock. In regards to my septum, he told me a very similar story to what Dr. Blanchard had said: it is muscular, possibly/probably not what is causing the miscarriages, and very hard to take out (because it is muscular, not fibrous), so he'd like to leave it in for now, unless I have one or two more miscarriages, in which case we will rethink. He also took a look at all of the other tests I have had run and that is where we come to my second problem.

It turns out that my FSH (follical stimulating hormone) from October was a 10, which is within the normal range (which is why the other doctors overlooked it), but not normal for someone my age... More normal for a 35 or 40 year old. So we are looking at me having poor ovarian reserve, if the October test wasn't a fluke and the blood test I have on Monday confirms that number. Poor ovarian reserve means that my body has to work harder to produce an egg each month, and when it does, the eggs are often of poor quality, which would be another possible explanation for the two miscarriages. After confirming a high FSH number on Monday, I am going to go through the Clomiphene citrate challenge test in my January cycle, which means that they will test my FSH level on day 3 of my cycle, then I will take Clomid for days 5-9, and then they will retest my FSH level on day 10 to see if I am responding to ovarian hyperstimulating drugs. The Clomid may help my body produce an egg (0r hopefully many eggs), which would help me get pregnant, and have another shot at a healthy baby.

The doctor did say "age trumphs FSH," which means that I, as a 24 year old, am more likely to eventually have a child than someone who is 35 with the same FSH levels, but he also did say that one or two or more miscarriages are likely. At least someone is finally telling me the truth, eh?

Interestingly, my new RE was part of the University of Maryland Medical Center group, but is switching over to Shady Grove Fertility Center on Monday. I guess God wanted me at Shady Grove anyway - but just sped up the process a little bit. Thanks, God.

Happy birthday, Olivia!

I just know you are having a great big party up in heaven today. I only wish I could be there!

Max, give your sister a big birthday hug and kiss from mommy and daddy! We love you both so so very much.

Lots of love,
Mommy