Four.

Olivia would have been four today. It is so hard to imagine having a four year old girl, especially with three little boys running around the house. I bet she would have been my sweet little helper. Mommy misses you, but I'm so happy that you are with Jesus now. Happy birthday!

 "It's such a cruel thing to lose a baby. Nothing is ever untainted again... not even hope."
-Lady Agnes, Upstairs Downstairs.

You have reached an answering machine... BEEP!

Hello! You have reached my former blog. While I am so glad that you are here to share in your journey, especially if your journey involves taking cytotec for a miscarriage, I am no longer sharing my children's stories with the general public, for safety concerns. If I know you from blog-land or real life, leave a comment with your e-mail address (or e-mail it to me with the link in the upper right corner of this page) and I can add you to the list of viewers of my new blog. If you are in need of prayer or someone to talk to, feel free to leave a comment, as well, and I will be notified via e-mail. God bless!

Tomorrow!!!

The news of the weekend is.... babies tomorrow! They are going to induce me at 8 am because my blood pressure has been creeping up and I will be full term (for twins, they bake a little faster :-P).

HOORAY!!!!!!!!! We are so excited and it was WONDERFUL to have an entire weekend to finish the last minute details, rather than going into labor unexpectedly and having to come home to laundry or a dirty house or no food in the fridge.

We won't have internet access at the hospital because our laptop is broken and away at Dell currently, so all you blogger folks will just have to wait for the announcement until we get back home! If you're my (or Jonathan's) friend on facebook, you'll probably get to see some pictures there a little bit sooner, if Jonathan is able to sneak home briefly and upload some.

Thank you for your prayers!

35 weeks: Check!

Well, we reached 35 weeks! Wahoo! I have to go in for preeclampsia bloodwork today, so you could be praying that I don't have that... or that it's not a huge problem before I deliver and doesn't affect these last however many days of the babies' growth. I have a growth ultrasound, as well as BPP+NST on Wednesday morning and then my weekly OB appt. on Wednesday afternoon. I had a dream last night that when they checked my cervix at that appointment, I was already at 7 cm. But I'm pretty sure that's just wishful thinking. :-P

7 more days to full term. When next Monday rolls around I am done laying down all day - I'm pulling out the Just Dance II (Wii game) and climbing the stairs. (Actually, my aching knees will prevent both of those things, I'm sure, but the point is I will be doing everything to get these babies out.) But we'll see if we even make it that far!

Jonathan awesomely finished all of my baby laundry this weekend and got our pack-n-play set up in our room and I feel like we are just about ready to go to the hospital! We just need to finish packing our hospital bags. Well, the babies' bag is ready, so they won't be needing for anything, but my and Jonathan's bags are only partially done - we could survive with what I've got in them, but it'd be nice for him to have snacks and reading material and I need to get our baby books in them, etc.

Thanks for your prayers - I can't believe we are days (21 or less!) away from holding our little boys!

34w, 4d: Babies soon?

For those of you non-facebook users (ahem, Bill and Jen!), I just wanted to update you with the latest news.

Yesterday I was feeling a lot of pressure on my cervix all day from Baby A's head... It seemed like he was trying to ram his way out of there! I had an appointment at 3:45, so I went in and of course it was an eventful appointment... They found protein in my urine (they tested on two different samples to make sure), which is one sign of preeclampsia (which I am doubly more at risk for because of the twins and gestational diabetes), and seeing as how my blood pressure has been getting fairly high around 130/75 (which is pretty high for me! I started at 90/60), I now have to do a 24-hour urine collection and some blood tests on Monday to see if I really have it or not. The worst that would probably happen with that is that they would induce earlier than originally planned because they want to avoid me having a stroke... But you gotta love racking up the "high risk pregnancy" factors. :-P

Then there was the other news... I am dilating! I went from closed two weeks ago to 1.5 cm dilated, 60% effaced and Baby A at -2 station (so he is starting to sink into my pelvis). Because of all of the pressure I am feeling, which is normal at this point for twins, I am now on bedrest, although she didn't actually use the word "bedrest." Basically, she told me our goal now is to make it to Monday, which is 35 weeks, and that reclining in bed will hopefully keep the dilation at bay. My goal is to make it to my brother Matthew's birthday, which is Wednesday, March 2 - 35w, 2d. We have a growth ultrasound that morning and it would be nice to be armed with weights of the babies, so that I can have a valid argument for a breech extraction of B - he was more than 1/2 lb. smaller than A last time and the gap is probably even a little wider now (just from their growth patterns, not because he isn't getting enough nutrients or anything). If I make it to Wednesday, then the next goal is full term on Monday, March 7!

I did have a bit of a labor scare this morning - contractions every 8 minutes for an hour, and then they slowed to every 15 minutes and then stopped. I called the doctor to make sure this was okay, and apparently we are no longer worried about stopping pre-term labor, so I'm not supposed to call the doctor back until I've had 6 contractions in an hour and things are getting closer together.... So WOW - I guess if I actually go into labor at this point, we will be meeting babies soon thereafter!

We have a few more odds and ends to do, mostly laundering blankets and sheets that we were waiting to do until after the vent cleaning that finally got done yesterday. I was hyperventilating a little bit this morning thinking that they weren't going to have clean blankets to bring them home in! But Jonathan will do those tonight or tomorrow and then we will be ready (at least materially, maybe not emotionally hehe)... eek!

We are so excited to meet our babies. Thank you for your prayers!

33 weeks: Happy birthday to me and three weeks to full term!

Happy birthday to me! Glad that my boys held out this long, and hoping they don't come for a few more weeks, although it would be fun to share a birthday.

We had a couple great appointments last week... The boys passed their first NST/BPP (now weekly because of the Gestational Diabetes), they are both head down now(!), and they are chunkers, both over 4 lbs. already! Baby A is 85th percentile, and weighed 4 lbs., 13 oz.; Baby B is 50th percentile at 4 lbs., 3 oz. Wow, those are good sized babies already!

I will be full term in three weeks and while I am wanting to get to that point, I hope they won't stay in much longer than that!
- I have developed PUPP (an itchy pregnancy rash) over the past week and so far nothing is working for relief! My birthday present to myself is calling my doctor today for a stronger, prescription remedy. The rash started on my belly, but is now on my wrists and will probably spread up my arms and down my legs, as well (according to the books). Oh the things we have to live with for our kids' sake. :-P It's kind of sad to be missing out on my last few weeks of good sleep because of a stupid rash!
- Also, my ankles have disappeared over the past two days... and I kind of liked my ankles. I woke up this morning with puffy eyes from lack of sleep and puffy lips (who knows why!) and I looked pretty awesome, not gonna lie.
- My knees are groaning under the 50 lb. weight gain that they have endured so far and I am ready to lose this weight and be normal sized again (I'd even take 25 lbs. less, that would be fine with me)! Gotta love the twin breastfeeding diet.
- Also, not going to lie, being able to freely eat chocolate and cupcakes and all means of sugar again means that I will probably be binging on those things for the first few days after birth.

We got the boys' dresser in this weekend, so I am ready to finish the last few items on our to-do list before they are born! I am going to start baby laundry (clothes and cloth diapers) today and hopefully the folks who are coming to clean our vents will come today or tomorrow so that I can wash the babies' sheets and get their beds ready, too! So excited to have things all set up for them... I can't believe how close it is now!

I love you babies so much and can't wait to see you soon!!! But not too soon. Three more weeks and then you can come at your leisure. LOVE YOU BOYS!

30w, 4d: Head down and ready to go!

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday with my Ob/Gyn. Everything looked great, including Baby A who is now HEAD DOWN!!! Wahoo! In the state of Maryland for a first time mother, Baby A has to be head down to attempt a natural delivery. There are only unlicensed midwives that would try a breech twin birth in a first time mom and they are probably unlicensed for that reason! Baby B can be whatever he pleases because they will try to turn him either during A's delivery or after it - the second baby frequently turns on his own during this time anyway, so having him head down is helpful, but not required. I did feel Baby B attempting to turn last night (wow, that is uncomfortable from how big he is now!), but I don't think he got there in the end - good try, baby! The other good news is that Baby A's head seemed to have dropped into my hips a bit, so hopefully he will stay put.

Also, I'm not dilated at all yet, so we're still good on the no bedrest front! That is a huge praise, since I have been expecting bedrest for a long time now. :)

I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes last week after failing my test, but the diet/finger pricking has not been bad at all, and I actually feel a lot more energetic and less moody, now that my blood sugars are fairly stable. Since I am controlling it well with diet at this point, no insulin shots needed!

We have our two cribs set up and two mattresses in them, and are currently looking for a dresser to purchase. I am really hoping to get one this weekend, so that I can start washing clothes and putting them away. Our room is full of gift bags of baby clothes (sorted by size), so it will be nice to have it less cluttered again. Also, I need to know what I still need so that I can ask for hand-me-downs and buy what I am not given.

I had my church shower this past weekend and we were truly "showered" with gifts! So many people have been praying for us to, first, get pregnant, and then for these two babies specifically, and I think they were a little bit excited to buy things for them! We received so many cute outfits, my twin nursing pillow, my breast pump and supplies, a personalized, handmade nursing cover, a bathtub, and so much more! I was just amazed at how generous everyone was and so thankful. And I've already almost finished my thank you's from that shower!

I am getting so excited for these babies to come into the world. Now that we are getting to a point where they would be fairly healthy if born (although they would still require a bit of a NICU stay at this point) I feel much more relaxed and can just enjoy these last few weeks of babes-in-womb.

Thank you all for your prayers! As I have been saying in my thank you cards this week, God has been abundantly faithful to us!